The Decision Not to Have Kids

I recently read an article on Cracked.com about one woman’s decision to not have children. It was something that I found to be very interesting as this was a topic I have been struggling with myself.  The assumption has always been that one day, I would have kids but as I got older, the idea did not really appeal to me.  At one point, it had almost felt like something that is expected of me as opposed to something I really wanted.  I have said in the past that I would be open to the idea of having children, or at least one, but even then, the idea kind of terrifies me.  I’ve never really been that comfortable with kids and for the most part, whenever someone hands me one, I want to had it right back.  I am perfectly okay with being the aunt and friend of a mom, but I really have no desire to have any of my own kids.

Maybe I am a little selfish in a way, but I’m just not ready for the kind of commitment that comes with having kids.  It is 18+ years of commitment to something I’m not even sure I really want.  Social convention states that women should want to bear children and procreate, but I’ve never really had the desire to do so.  As I said above, I have toyed with the idea, because I think that it’s a natural, biological urge to have children and sometimes part of me thinks maybe I should.  Then the rest of me runs away screaming at the prospect of dirty diapers, little to no sleep and my entire retirement savings being spent on braces and a college education for the little evil spawn.

I guess I really haven’t made a decision one way or another, but I definitely know which way I am leaning.  It really is a big decision to make and one that will have lasting consequences either way.  I think the article said it best and I recommend it as a good read, even if you do not share the same outlook on kids as the writer.

As for me, while my reasons to not have children probably stem mostly from selfishness and fear, I find that I am perfectly okay with that.  I would say that even the fear aspect goes back to selfishness.  I like the idea of being able to pick up and go whenever I feel like it and not having to worry about anyone else but myself.  I also don’t have to worry about finances when all I have to budget for is myself.  Kids cost a lot of money, which I would rather be using the explore the world and enjoy new experiences.  Just like the writer of the article though, it’s not that I don’t like kids, I just don’t want any of my own.  Yes, like many young girls, I have/had baby names picked out, but I’m not at all sad that I won’t be using them.  I will say this though, my nieces and nephews are going to be spoiled.

This quick entry doesn’t really delve into everything but I just felt the need to say something after reading this article.  I enjoyed it and I think others will too.

 

Jennifer Lewis

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